Remembering 9/11

Watching the footage this morning I had a hard time to stop crying. Personally, I didn’t know anyone who died that day in any of the attack sites. Like everyone else on Twitter, Facebook and TV I thought about where I was and how I heard.

I had arrived at work sometime between 7:30 and 8am. I remember checking Yahoo and there was a single sentence as the lead news story. Something simple like “Plane hits World Trade Center.” The site was getting too much traffic and wouldn’t completely load. I imagined a small four-seater plane accidentally hitting a corner of one of the buildings. At that point, there was no way to imagine or comprehend what really happened.

We piped in a news radio station to our speaker phones so we could listen to the news. Even when the first tower collapsed there was still feeling of denial. There’s no way a building over 100 stories could have collapsed. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had been to the viewing deck on a really special trip to New York. There’s just no way.

It’s odd, in my previous two jobs with the Cardinals and Charter, I was used to everyone having a TV in their office. My boss ran home to get a small portable TV so we could see the news coverage. I didn’t see any footage of the towers falling until probably 10 or 10:30 St. Louis time. I still didn’t believe what I was seeing.

Experiencing this devastating event with co-workers was interesting. My title at that time was project manager and I shared an office with another pm. I remember us talking about how crazy it was that Bin Laden could ‘project manage’ this incredibly complex and senseless attack on four different sites from a cave in Afghanistan. The coordination of all the people, their specific assignments, their training, booking all the flights, getting the exact seat, getting through security etc. Imagine if he had put all those resources together for some good.

I have to say, after watching a lot of the footage and memorial shows today, State Farm nailed it with their commercial with the kids singing the Alicia Keyes song “Streets of New York” to a group of fire-fighters.

Facebook saved this kitty

This beautiful baby wandered into my yard one Saturday night during a party. She was super sweet and friendly and did not seem like a stray. I put food and water out for her. She came back Sunday and then disappeared Monday. My fellow cat owner friends thought she might be an indoor-outdoor kitty (a concept I don’t understand at all!) But then she returned on Tuesday.

It’s so easy to change the channel when the commercial comes on playing Sara McLachlan’s Angel and show’s all the homeless animals. It’s not so easy to ignore the sweetest kitty camping out on your back porch. I put out a kennel so she had a place to sleep, kept her in fresh food and water and spent time petting her each day.

I posted this picture on Facebook on multiple friends’ and neighborhood group sites. A girl in my neighborhood offered to foster her. She took her to a local vet and found out she was not micro-chipped, she fostered her for a few days and a friend ended up taking her. Facebook saved this kitty. How cool is that?

Networking Tips from an 11 Year Old

My nephew Eric clearly inherited my mom’s ‘talking’ gene. He talks non-stop. He can carry on a conversation with adults just as easily as his friends. The last few times we’ve hung out I’ve noticed his ‘ice-breaker’ question leads with “What’s your favorite…?”

After I took him to the final Harry Potter movie…”Aunt Chris, what was your favorite part?” Mine was when you find out Snape was a good guy the whole time and made the ultimate sacrifice to go undercover as a bad guy to watch over Harry because he had been in love with Harry’s mom, Lily, since they were kids. His was the part when the fire was blazing through the room where everything is hidden and it turned into a snake and dogs.

“What’s your favorite thing at Taco Bell?” He’s just a basic crunchy taco with cheese nacho kinda guy. I like the very decadent Crunch-wrap Supreme.

We were watching “The A-Team” movie…”Aunt Chris, who’s your favorite character?” Mine was Bradley Cooper. Eric likes the crazy guy, Murdoch.

Eric is the cutest kid, he’s never met a stranger. It’s so amazing watching him grow up and have this funny, charming confidence. I took him to Chicago for his 10th birthday. We were at a Cubs game and he was dressed head to toe in his Cardinals gear. A Chicago policeman sat next to me and he and Eric hazed and heckled each other the entire game. I love that Eric inherited my mom’s talking gene and that he can talk to anyone (kinda like his aunt Chris). And the next time I’m at a networking event, I’m totally stealing his “what’s your favorite…” as an ice-breaker.

and PS, this photo is from our Chicago trip, pre-Cubs game, he asked if he could order a cappuccino. Of course Aunt Chris said yes. After he added three sugar packets, he took a tiny sip and hated it, so of course, Aunt Chris drank the cappuccino.

Circle of Life...all in one day

Friday, July 15, I attended a funeral, a wedding and a baby shower. I experienced a full range of emotions and a deeper level of introspection…much more than a typical Friday.

Baby Shower
The morning started with a ‘food day’ celebrating the pending arrival of baby Levi. Everything from cheesey-bacon-tator tots, a breakfast casserole, monkey bread, the token healthy fruit tray and of course, cupcakes with the plastic safety pin topper. I had a really interesting conversation with Amy, the expectant mother, about what a true miracle it is that a woman’s body can conceive and grow a baby to term…everything from eye lashes to fingernails and the ability to laugh and cry. While I will never have this life experience, I can certainly appreciate the magnitude.

It makes me think…a newborn baby represents the possibilities that life offers. Maybe little Levi will be the next president of the United States or beat Michael Phelps’ Olympic gold medal record in swimming or invent the next generation’s iPod or simply be a good man who loves his family, is happy and enjoys life to the fullest.

Babies start with a clean slate. Babies aren’t born with racism or homophobia. They don’t know how to bully or gossip. Their laughter is pure joy. They are more curious about the cardboard box than the expensive designer toy. As they grow older their imagination has the ability to turn a blanket into a secret castle. When you ask them what they want to be when they grow up they say “a baseball player, a fireman AND a doctor”…no limits, everything is possible.

Funeral
Mid-morning I left the office to attend my first Jewish funeral service. The funeral was for my friend Sandy’s father who had passed away at the age of 95. I was raised Catholic so I’m most familiar with a full funeral mass. (I know this is dorky but I Googled “jewish funeral service” to see what to expect.) The temple was a simple room compared to many Catholic Churches with their mosaics, stained glass windows and statues. But the acoustics were perfect to hear Rabbi Amy Feder officiate the service.

The minimal service had a comforting flow of poignant readings, quotes, commentary and songs. The Rabbi’s voice was simply beautiful unaccompanied by an organ or piano as I’m used to. The verses she sang had this ancient rhythm that drew me into their rituals and traditions. And when the Rabbi spoke, she displayed emotion and passion unlike Catholic priests and lectors who tend to read in a robotic monotone. As sad as funerals can be, I appreciate the gift it is to share this experience with a close friend.

Sandy’s brother spoke and the rabbi read letters from Sandy and her sister to their father. It’s inspiring to hear the love and admiration for a man who deeply touched many lives. Sometimes people discount your grief of someone who dies at an advanced age…”oh he lived a long life” or “it was time.” I think this makes the grief more profound because you have more years of memories and experiences with the person who is now gone.

It makes me think…have I lived my life creating the memories and experiences that I will be satisfied with at the end? Have I taken advantage of all those possibilities that lie before me when I was born?

Wedding
I hurriedly left the office to commute through rush-hour traffic to get to the 5:30 wedding ceremony of my cousin Jared. I think weddings are the ultimate act of optimism. More marriages end in divorces than last ‘till death do us part’…so anyone who is willing to stand up in front of their closest friends and families and make this commitment knowing the odds are against them has to be filled with optimism that their relationship is different.

It makes me think...when you’re sitting in church you can’t help but reflect on your own life, your own hopes and your own relationships. Watching two people who are truly in love is inspiring. I like that feeling of optimism.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the funeral service they brought the casket over to the family for a final moment before the procession out of the temple. My heart broke as Sandy’s mom sobbed, calling out to her husband with such pain her voice. Her grief was palpable in the room. They had been together 68 years, what a gift. Life and all of its experiences, good and bad, is a gift. And it’s days like this that remind you to appreciate it.

and PS: wow what a crazy thought filled Friday!

What's below the surface?

I recently had dinner in south St. Louis city at Crusoe’s (deeeelicious Mayfair dressing btw) and as I was walking to my car I noticed the old cobblestones showing through the asphalt on a side street. It made me wonder about the story beneath the surface. What historical figures may have ridden down that same road in a horse drawn carriage? Or who were the men charged with the back-breaking labor of laying those bricks by hand years and years ago.

My next door neighbor has lived there for 25+ years. He told me that at different times in its history my house was a crack house and a whore house! So now visions of Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds singing and dancing come to mind…but it’s one of the reasons I love my house…there’s over 100 years of stories to be told.

I’ve been observing people through different eyes lately…trying to see what’s below the surface. The woman who won’t leave the house without her Coach purse with giant C’s all over that screams to everyone that she spent $400; the loud-talker who has nothing substantial to report in a meeting but talks louder than everyone to make you think what he says is important; the handsome pathological liar guy who makes up outlandish stories to impress you; the quiet friend with the big blue eyes who is never the center of attention but is always observing everyone and everything…what are they hiding? What do they know? Who hurt them in their past? What are they afraid of?

I may work with some of these people…they may be my friends...and as I navigate the relationships it makes life a lot more interesting trying to connect with what’s below the surface.

Life in the city

I really do love living in an urban area. I love my 100+year old historical home. It’s geographically desirable in relation to my social life. My neighborhood is a melting pot of humanity. Cherokee street has become a Little Mexico. I’m very close to the South Grand neighborhood which has a heavy influence from Asian Americans. And of course African American and Caucasian.

I inherited my mother’s talking gene which means I tend to strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. So here are a few stories from my life in the city.

“I’m on the disability”
I was pumping gas at the local Conoco. A young African American man was at the opposite pump. He was driving an SUV with the fancy, shiny rims. I struck up a conversation with him by complimenting his fun plaid shorts. His friend limps up to the pump…an older man walking with a cane. He joins the conversation.

Man: “Hey baby, how you doing?”
Me: “Good thanks, how’re you?”
Man: “Good baby, do you have a boyfriend?”
Me: “Yes, thanks, I’m dating someone.”
Man: “Aw come on baby, I’m on the disability. Do you know what you get on the disability? Baby, I could take care of you.”….

“Blackbox”
I finished my grocery shopping at Save-A-Lot and went to rent a movie at the Redbox. There were two African American fellas hanging out on the sidewalk. They were rapping and beat boxing as I walked up. The same guy from the first story is one of the men but he doesn’t recognize me. And he’s lost the limp and the cane. He initiates the conversation.

Man 1: “Hey baby, you want to buy a DVD?”
Me: “No thanks, I just want to rent.”
Man 1: “Come on baby, we’re just trying to make buck” (or something like that)
Man 2: “Forget the Redbox, baby I’m the Black Box”

Are you kidding me? That is hilarious and brilliant! As a marketer I could not ignore a tag line that clever!

Me: “Blackbox!? That is awesome. Ok what do you have?”
Man 2: “Resident Evil Trilogy, Saw IV, My Bloody Valentine”…then they both pause, look up, look at me and kind of laugh and say something like “she’s not into that …what else do we have?”

I end up buying “Grown Ups” from my local Blackbox. Love this neighborhood!

“Stamps”
This happened this week. I ran into Save-A-Lot after my workout. A woman stopped me in the parking lot.

Woman: “Hey baby, can I ask you a question?”
Me: “Sure”
Woman: “Would you like to buy some stamps? I can sell you X# of books for $X.”
I can’t remember the exact amount or dollars. I just said “no thank you, I don’t need any stamps.”

As I walked away she said “no... Food Stamps!”

My friend Fern, who happens to be African American, calls me the “whitest girl on earth.” I think this last story confirms that.

Life is really just one big, unpredictable hike

For the second major hike of my life, I chose a 4-8pm timeslot so I could experience the red rock as the sun was setting. Of course I hired Tom Reich and his dog Summit again since I had such an exhilarating first hike with them.

We drove to the Bell Rock access point. I saw several families with small children coming out so I was reassured this hike would be within my skill level. Several women were even wearing flip flops…are you kidding me?!

Immediately the incline felt very steep, I could feel my heart rate race and I was breathing heavily. The hike was very different from my first trail that wound through the trees and up the mountain on a clearly marked trail. This one was more wide open slide rock and felt more like rock climbing than hiking (at least in my beginner hiking mind). We got to a stopping point so I could get a drink of water and I was shocked at how far we had come in such a short time in both horizontal and vertical distance. Breathtaking view once again.

At this point the ‘hike’ looked like a giant vertical rock and I was petrified! With nothing to hold onto how the hell was I getting my 45 year old @$$ up there! I stopped and told Jim I couldn’t do it. There was a couple right behind us so I let them go ahead. Once I saw them navigate the rock I was mildly reassured that I could do it. It just felt nearly impossible at that point. I’ve never encountered anything like that. No place for your hands to grab onto to help pull you up or simply for balance. No ropes, caribeners, no safety net. And in my mind, it seemed too easy to lose your balance and fall backwards and tumble down hundreds of feet over the rocky terrain!

Jim could feel my anxiety and he offered to hold my hand going up this route, offered a different, less vertical climb or we could turn around and go back down. I opted to push myself to try the vertical climb. Of course my heart was racing and I was probably cursing the craziness in my mind but we proceeded up the rock. We went a couple more levels and then I had to stop. Because now I’m thinking about how are we going to get down!

I felt good about pushing myself that far but I didn’t need to add to the extreme hiking adventure I was experiencing! Jim was terrific coming back down. At several points we sat down to scoot down the rock at steeper drops. Bell Rock had humbled me and I owned my nerdiness and scooted down with pride!

At one point, Jim took off his hiking sandals so his bare feet could absorb the vortex energy. Really? If he can hike down in bare feet, I can certainly hike down without crying like a little baby.

In retrospect, my view of easy/beginner hiking at the beginning of this trip envisioned simple, clearly marked, zig-zagging trails up and down mountains. I did not imagine slide rocks or the big river rocks. I did not plan to cross a creek barefoot. I did not envision vertical climbs. I did not envision the near paralyzing fear and crazy racing heart pounding in my chest. There’s a metaphor to life in here somewhere. Jim’s definition of easy might be a little warped because of his experience. Life can’t be all easy hikes with clearly marked trails. You have to get your heart and blood racing every once-in-awhile…makes you feel like you’re really alive. And yes there will be situations that seem to paralyze you with fear. But when you conquer the creek, the big river rocks or the vertical climb… you feel satisfied and proud. And you feel the possibility...



and PS...the photo is looking down the vertical. It's MUCH steeper in real life!