Sunday, March 1, 2015

More Reasons Why Cruise Ship Employees Make Great Candidates



A few weeks ago there was a great article on Linked-in “Why Former Cruise Ship Employees Make the Best Employment Candidates” by Sean Sassoon with Princess Cruise lines.  As a former cruise ship employee I heartily agree! He talked in generalities about attributes like team work and crisis management. I wanted to provide a couple of entertaining stories that illustrate his points. But first, let me set the stage.

Background

I worked on the Yorktown Clipper with Clipper Cruise Lines for one year as a stewardess 1990-1991. This was more of a boutique cruise line not the massive ships you’re probably imagining. We had 138 passengers and 35 crew members. The ship had no casino, disco or swimming pool. There was one dining room and a lounge for cocktails. A naturalist was on board to give lectures on the nature, culture and environment. We docked in major cities like the other larger ships but we would also anchor off an uninhabited island so the passengers could snorkel or cruise a river in Panama or Venezuela to visit tribes of indigenous people.

Stewardesses rotated into various different positions for a week at a time. We cleaned the rooms, served the meals, did the laundry and worked in the galley. We helped to load the stores (all the food and supplies) and clean the galley, dining room and lounge. A typical day was 14-16 hours of physical labor. We received one day off every set of seven days.  I don’t remember any sick days.

Team work, crisis management, stress management, innovative: these are a few of the attributes mentioned in the article.  Here are a few of my stories.

48 Hours of Laundry Service

One girl at a time would rotate into laundry. Our responsibilities involved washing and ironing the table linens after each meal, the towels after rooms were cleaned, the sheets on sheet-change day and the bar rags used for cleaning.

Our crisis occurred when a lazy and inept girl was assigned to the laundry and she fell so far behind there were no towels for the rooms and no breakfast linens for the next day. This was discovered one evening after dinner service. My boss assigned me and another girl (Connie) to 24-hour laundry for two days. We were each on 4-6 hour shifts. We’d work our shift and wake the other up to take the next shift until we caught up.Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Two days.

Connie and I were hard workers but also experts at the project management of the laundry service. The key was to keep all three machines working at the same time (iron, washer and dryer) and to pack every nook and cranny of the washer with as much as possible. Most girls would only fit 5-6 bags of laundry into the washer. If you took a few extra minutes, you could find the empty corners and fit another 2-3 bags! This was a huge time saver.

I was such a skilled project manager of the laundry that I was able to finish the morning work creating a large enough break in the afternoon to take a passenger excursion on a helicopter landing on a glacier two different times.  Priceless!

And the wall came crashing down.

Two girls plus one deckhand would work in the galley to assist the chefs with some basic food preparation but our primary job was to wash all dishes. This included glass, dinner and silverware from passengers and crew as well as all pots, pans and utensils used to prepare the meals. Three of us worked the dish washing line. The first person emptied the bus tubs, the second person loaded the racks and the third person removed the clean dishes from the racks. We all helped to run the dishes back to where they were stored all over the galley. At the wall where the third person worked were shelves that held cereal bowls, side plates and casserole dishes.

Our crisis occurred one night when we were in high seas. The ship was being tossed around and half the passengers were sick in their rooms. We were getting ready for dinner service. I was in the second position so the wall of china was at the end of the line to my left.  The ship listed so far to the right it felt like we might tip over.  I remember this moment like it was in slow motion.   As the ship listed we started moving to the right but looking to the left at the shelves…cereal bowls… crash…casserole dishes…crash…side plates…crash! The floor of our entire line was covered with broken dishes.

A few of the deckhands immediately ran and found some remnant carpet squares for us to stand on over the breakage. They started sweeping up while someone else ran to the stores to get more side plates from storage.  We were serving a hot appetizer so we needed to run the plates through the dish washer so the hot food was served on a hot plate.

It was hilarious!  No one complained at all. We just kept working and cleaning up and the passengers had no idea.

This was one of the most memorable years of my life.  Physically the hardest work I’ve ever done in exchange for travel.  In one year I traveled to more places than most people will in their life time: Alaska, Victoria, Vancouver, San Juan Islands, many towns in Washington and Oregon, San Francisco, Napa, San Diego, Mexico (Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo San Lucas, Ixtapa Zihuatanejo, uncharted islands), Costa Rica, Panama, Isla Margarita, Curacao, Bonaire, Trinidad, Tobago, Venezuela up the Orinoco River. Serve from the left with the left hand, clear from the right with the right hand, and the table should be ‘crumbed’ (crumbs delicately scraped off the table) before dessert arrives. I learned about gourmet food and wine, which silverware goes with each course and I have a full library of napkin folds!

Cruise ship employees have many desirable skills and even more crazy stories!

Note: the picture was taken off the coast of one of those uninhabited Mexican islands. I am wearing the uniform from serving breakfast and lunch.



Tuesday, February 17, 2015

How to blow your interview: 6 quick tips

Building on my previous post of how not to get an interview, if you are unsuccessful and get called in to meet live humans I thought I would share a few helpful tips on how to make sure you do not get a second interview or hired for that matter!  In general the theme is to not prepare. At all.

Do not review your resume. 

It’s much more interesting when I ask you a question about a previous accomplishment and you can’t remember the details.  This is an easy way to start blowing the interview when you can’t explain the bullets on your own resume.  Waste my time while you look at the ceiling trying to remember your responsibilities from a few years ago.  I start to doubt what you wrote is the truth and look for ways to end the interview as quickly as possible.

Do not research the company.

I once had a position open for an Internet marketer and one of the key responsibilities in the job posting was to lead our web strategy and a complete redesign of our web site.  I asked the candidate if she had reviewed our site and what suggestions she might have for short-term improvements.  She told me she did not look at our site and the interview ended a few minutes later. She blew it so easily!

Another real-life example is when I worked for a communications (cable) company and a candidate told us she hated cable.  I assume she did not research the company or what our main products were and she blew that interview in the opening chit chat! Seriously!

Do not take notes

This is especially true if I am explaining anything about our process or who key players are.  The interview could be the beginning of your training and make your first days easier but if you don’t write anything down you can blow the interview and not have to worry about that.  When I see you not taking notes it's clear that you don’t care and lack initiative. 

Do not ask questions

You are considering making a life-changing decision to leave your current job and work with me and my team. Of course you won’t have any questions like what’s my leadership style, how I define success for this position or how you will be evaluated.  Now this is not always a deal-breaker but it helps me see how much initiative you lack or how little information you gather when making decisions. 

Why would you want to know why the position is open? Or what the top priorities are? Or why I enjoy working here?  If you really don’t care, then don’t ask.  People who don’t care blow interviews every day.

Do not ask for the job

This is related to not asking questions.  Don’t end the interview by asking me if I see any gaps in your experience or reasons I may hesitate to hire you. This question is a great segue to ask for the job.  Definitely do not ask for the job.  Leave me unsure of your interest. Your apathy and indifference will make it easier for me to assume you’re not interested. Let another candidate who displays not only interest but enthusiasm for the job get the offer.

Do not write thank you notes

It’s so much easier to not write thank you notes when you have no notes from all of the people you met.   Why would we want to hire someone who has manners and respect? You could use the thank you notes to build relationships with your future co-workers and reiterate reasons why you are qualified but these are tips to blow the interview not rock!  This is not necessarily a deal breaker but it’s a great strategy to blow the interview days later!  This is not a big deal for most people.  It’s one of my pet peeves. 

These are all examples from real candidates.  Each time I go through the hiring process I am shocked at the poor performance of the candidates.  Adults, not just kids, whose families rely on the income from a job I have to fill. I imagine this is why you hear stories of people being laid off for 6-12 months.  It’s a shame.  You may really be the best candidate for the job but it’s very easy to blow the interview.  Just follow these easy tips.





Wednesday, January 28, 2015

How Not to Get an Interview: 5 Easy Tips



Over 25 years in my professional career I have gone through hundreds of resumes from eager applicants for various positions including administrative assistants, telemarketers, marketing management, creative and web developers.  We just completed the hiring process for a new person and it brought to light a variety of fun tips I wanted to share to help you not get the interview.

Send a blank email

Don’t bother to write an email if you have attached your cover letter.  That shows me how lazy you are and sends you straight to the NO pile.

Don’t put your personal information in the subject line

…Especially when you are responding to an ad from an online posting service like Monster or Craig’s List. Imagine 100 people responding to the same ad and everyone just clicks to submit the same email template.  My in-box now has 100 new emails all with the same subject line. (See picture above).  So if you don’t add your name into the subject line, it makes it really easy to accidentally skip or lose your emailed application.

Don’t provide all of your contact information

Make me work for it.  I prefer to reach out by phone but if you only give me your email, make sure you don’t check it very often so I have forgotten about you in a few weeks.  If you have an online portfolio or website, do not put that on your resume or cover letter.  Put it in the email so if I only print your resume, I don’t have it.  Then I have to go through 100 emails all with the same subject line and see if I can find it.

Don’t proof your resume or letter

…Especially if you are applying for a writing or designing position.  Typos, misspellings, grammar and punctuation mistakes, misaligned bullets and paragraphs are all circled with a red pen as I scan your letter and resume.  The more red, the quicker you jump to the NO pile.

Keep your file names generic:  “resume” and “cover letter”

This concept is similar to the idea of the generic email subject line.  Imagine hundreds of Word and PDF documents all with the same generic name. It makes it easy for me to lose and you never even make it to the NO pile!.

In a world when you see people graduating from college with student loans the size of a mortgage, unemployment rates of recent college graduates in the 8-10% range and watching 15-20% of those graduates ending up ‘under-employed’ I can see why.  Follow these five tips and you can help all of these numbers increase -- the lazier the better.

Come on people! Seriously?!  I am horrified! All of these examples are real and avoidable.  If your college professors don't tell you how, Google will give you tips on anything you can think of for free:  search ‘cover letter’ or ‘job search tips.’ Duh! You may have grown up where everyone gets a trophy for playing but in the real world only one person gets the job.




Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Top Cold Calling Personas



Lately I have been greatly entertained by the daily voice-mail messages I receive from the cold-callers of the world currently out there dialing for dollars:  

Eminem:  Ridiculously fast talker like some of the most popular rappers.  Or remember those old FedEx commercials?  That guy.

Mumbles: Remember Dustin Hoffman in Dick Tracy? Best when phone is smooshed against your face for further distortion.

Colonel Nathan Jessup:   Read your forceful monologue into my voice-mail with all the reasons why I need you on my wall. Or at least whatever you are selling.

Jeff Spicoli:  Laid back tone like he’s talking to his bro about his favorite pizza. I have to think twice to figure out if we really do know each other.

Patty Simcox:  Over –the-top, up-beat and excited. I imagine you are wearing red, white and blue and singing the “Up with People” theme song.   Funny…I may actually call you back.

My heart goes out to all of these people whose livelihoods rely on the successful outcome of these failed cold-call attempts. PEOPLE! Call yourself and leave yourself a sample call. Would you call yourself back?

Here are a few tips:

I typically open my voice-mail once a day at the most because they are 90% cold-calls.  I grab a pen and my notebook with full intention of taking notes to return calls. 

I get so many cold-call messages that I will only give you a few seconds at the beginning before I just hit 3-3-7 to delete.  If you are speaking clearly, I can understand your name, number and company and if your story peaks my interest, I write it down. That’s your first step to getting a call back. 
   
You improve your odds if you mailed me something cool, interesting and memorable prior to calling. Then when your voice-mail references your memorable mailer, continuing the story of why you are better and different, I may return your call simply because I admire good marketing. 

I am busy. I have a full-time job with many active projects that don’t require you or the thing you are selling. We outsource very little and operate with an in-house agency model. On the other hand, I love marketing. I want to stay up-to-date on new technology, strategies and approaches. Depending on your sales cycle, a meeting at the right time can allow me to pitch management and budget for something new. I enjoy networking. I am a good target but you have to get my attention, peak my curiosity and not annoy me. 

Monday, April 7, 2014

Southwest, Charmin and Extra Gum: random thoughts


Branded credit cards and loyalty card

In the pic above you can see the Southwest Airlines is the only one that got it right.  Designers need to think about that tiny sliver of the card that peaks out of the slot.  It’s such a pain to deal out all of my cards to find the one I need.  AMEX has a distinctive design, so that helps.  Macy’s peaks out a lil. But it’s one of those little details that reinforce why Southwest is one of my favorite brands!

Speaking of Southwest

Southwest is my first-choice in airlines because of 1) affordable rates 2) on-time, dependable service, 3) excellent customer service and 4) flexible frequent flier program. I had an American Airlines credit card for over twenty years that I recently cancelled and moved to a Southwest card for the miles.  Whether I am travelling for work or personal I check Southwest first.  I wonder how Southwest would quantify that loyalty? And you still get snacks and a birthday card!

Single-ply toilet paper

Do businesses really save that much when they buy the cheap TP? Don’t you use twice as much to accommodate? I hate single-ply! #my-butt-hurts My Charmin brand loyalty dates back to college when I was living on student loans and eating $.10 macaroni and cheese from Aldi.  I would splurge on Charmin.

Crazy flavored gum

Extra has the market on this category with deliciously crazy flavors of apple pie, raspberry vanilla cupcake and lemon square! I am trying to cut back on my sugar intake because I eat way too much! I love all things sweet. From the fancy crème broulet to a World’s Fair donut to Swedish Fish and Hot Tamales!  This gum really helps the cravings. My new discover is “Sour Patch Kids” flavored gum from Stride! Ridiculously awesome! 48 year old, single, white female target market?  Ha! I have disposable income to spend on lots of gum!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Call me Nana

I can really tell I am getting older. Not just by the aches and pains in my body but by my attitude towards the actions of kids today.  Here are a few examples:

Gym Dad

Last night as I was leaving the gym in 20 degree weather all bundled up with hat, hood, gloves and down coat I observed a young dad leaving with his three children.  The youngest girl was in his arms with wet hair after a swim. The little boy running next to him was wearing his coat solely by the hood like a super hero and the oldest daughter wearing basketball shorts and a light jacket.  Memories of Grandma vonOehsen demanding that I cover my ears came racing into my mind.  Seriously 20 degrees!  As a childless woman, I found myself judging this young dad and his lack of winter wear.

Teen Leggings

One of the biggest fashion trends with teen girls seems to be wearing leggings as pants with tops that come to their waist, not mid-thigh.  All their form-fitting business is exposed as they take their laps through the mall oblivious to Pervy McPervson’s  ogling and heavy breathing.

Stripper shoes

Five-inch stiletto’s and platform shoes have crossed-over from the pole to the mainstream.  Celebrities, eighth graders and CEO’s parade around on tip-toe with their feet in glitter, animal print, ankle strap bondage.

I don’t get it!

You will all be invited to my 50th birthday celebration in 2016 where I will likely be wearing comfortable shoes, normal fitting pants and ear-muffs.

ps above photo features the down coat hood plus hat combo approved by Grandma vonOehsen (in front of the White House).

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Be Better than the Gap


Awesome scene from the movie “Crazy, Stupid, Love” but ouch, if you manage the Gap brand. (Every time this movie is on cable I watch).  How did they go from being a brand on the top with the coolest dance commercials that everyone talked about to the butt of a Ryan Gosling joke? Now that I think about it, those cool dance commercials were a long time ago, and I can’t remember the last time I was in a Gap.

Anyone in marketing knows how hard it is to manage a brand in a large company with a million different people delivering the brand experience and a million things out of your control.  A nice brand standards document doesn’t do much if people don’t know about it or ignore it. Well-intentioned co-workers put the logo in a fun new color or shape and your brand equity starts to erode. 

Or you publicly unveil a new logo that should appear to be more modern and contemporary but then roll it back a week later because of all the outrage on social media. The new logo gets its own Twitter handle and there’s more salt in the wound.  Poor Gap.  Logo debacle in 2010, this movie quote from 2011 and it’s still lingering.

Steve Carell’s character goes through his own re-branding in the movie.  Ryan Gosling plays his new brand consultant.  Now we all can’t have Ryan Gosling coaching us on how to be personally relevant but I like the idea of keeping an eye on your personal brand and growing as a human being. 

Last year I started an urban garden and grew my own vegetables.   It’s empowering to be able to grow your own food.  To come home from work, pick some fresh broccoli and peppers and have a nice little home grown dinner. It’s also very satisfying to share the bounty with friends and family when you have more peppers than you could possibly eat.  My mom has already requested that I add radishes this year. 

I also took golf lessons and was immediately hooked.  I love hitting a bucket of balls, playing a par three with my nephew or golfing a full 18 holes at a fancy Palm Springs golf course. I just joined a league.  It’s been a long time since I had a hobby that required practice. 

Who knows if gardening or golf make my personal brand more relevant to the world.  They make me happy and that’s a core value of my brand J