Gonkey She Gonk Gonk

This is what my sister Pammy would say when we were kids when she fake snored.  I know, funny right? No idea why she needed to fake snore but she would say this softly, very fast and repeat 2-3 times.  And then I am sure we would laugh and laugh. With various recent family gatherings we have been reminiscing a lot and embracing how weird and goofy we were (are). I think that translates into adulthood as creativity but wow it’s hard to hold on to! Although revisiting the secret language of kids might help name a future new drug.

I want to find a way to channel that childhood free-thinking into imagination, innovation and problem solving at work.  In marketing we always have to find new ways to say the same thing over and over and still manage to create interest or excitement.  Creativity isn’t as obvious with IT or Web.  I look at technology problems like a Sudoko puzzle.  Sometimes you have to be creative with how the logic works between systems, users and all the ‘what ifs.’

I am laughing as I remember some of the weirdest, funniest things we did as kids. For starters we never fought.  Never. Ok, maybe twice…in 48 years.  People thought we were weird because of how well we got along. We used to get in trouble for laughing too much after my dad had gone to bed. Here are a few examples of what we might have been doing.

$10,000 Pyramid

We loved to play $10,000 Pyramid home version.  Combine that with a tape recorder and you will be laughing in minutes.  I was probably in sixth grade, Pammy was around third. I was giving the clues.

Me:  That thing like a barber shop quartet where everyone sings in a different key
Pammy: Blank stare. No idea
Me:  Ok, what’s the last name of that family we always see at the New Years day party?  The son’s name is Paulie?
Pammy:  Hoyman’s?
Me: Yes! Now what’s that creamy, sweet stuff you put on a cake?
Pammy:  Icing?
Me: Yah! Now, put the two together!
Pammy:  Hoyman-icing?  What’s Hoyman-icing?

Now I am laughing so hard I am crying.  One, because Pammy sounds like Mike Meyers as the host of coffee talk and a loving Jewish mother and two, if she can’t get harmonizing off the barber shop quartet clue plus hoyman-icing we are never getting there!  So we play back the recording and laugh some more!

Sometimes at work I feel like we are trying to explain harmonizing to the field, they are hearing hoyman-icing and still not getting it! Successful marketing and communications are trickier than you might think but I would love to have Dick Clark or Donny Osmond hosting our brainstorm sessions!

Designer shoes

Like every kid of the 70’s I was the lucky recipient of the potholder loom kit one birthday.  I think my mom still has one of those old potholders she received for mother's day and I was surprised to see in a Google search they still exist!

Pammy and I would trace our feet on the cardboard back cover of an old notebook and cut them out. Then we would weave the looms through our toes, around our feet, ankles and the cardboard and make our designer loom shoes.  We both hated feet so we would laugh our butts off as we put ours through the contortions of these odd, colorful shoes. Actually today they resemble some of the Gladiator sandals that are so popular! I guess we were ahead of the times.

Boogie Shoes

When we took our family vacations my mom would pack these little play suitcases with crayons, coloring books, candy and toys for the drive. We weren’t allowed to open them until we were on the highway.  It was highly likely it was 4 am and we were still in our nightgowns.

One year she gave us Charlie’s Angels dolls.  Since I was obsessed with Jacklyn Smith I got the Kelly Garrett doll. I think Pammy got Sabrina.  They were wearing polyester jump suits and plastic knee-high boots.  We promptly put the boots on our fingers and finger-danced the whole way to Florida.

We both took dancing lessons and there was one tap dance to KC and the Sunshine Band’s Boogie Shoes that we repeated over and over and over with the boots on our fingers. Flap ball change, flap ball change, shuffle hop step, shuffle hop step….Every time I hear that song my fingers start dancing! And yes it was a tap dance to a disco song.  It was the 70’s.

I bet the ROI we got on those cheap plastic boots would beat an iPad! I wonder how family road trip vacations have changed with each kid having their own personal device and head phones. Is getting to a new level in Candy Crush as memorable as the Charlie’s Angel doll finger dance to Boogie Shoes? I don't think so!

From exceptional customer experience to apathetic

I recently returned from a wonderful trip to New York filled with Tony Award winning theater.  I went as just a normal tourist and consumer but I guess I can’t turn off the marketer inside.  Two employee interactions stood out and are worth noting.

First, let’s begin with the super-positive.  I stayed at the W Hotel in Times Square.  Cool hotel in a perfect location but that’s not what stood out.  During my first night I experienced the worst case of food poisoning of my entire life.  It felt like my body was being shredded from the inside out from 11:30 pm to about 4 am.  The next morning I called the operator to request fresh towels and to let housekeeping know I couldn’t have the room cleaned since I was still sick. Towels were delivered within minutes.  

A short time later there was another knock at the door.  They delivered a hand-written note from my operator Gisele (great name)  with apologies for my poor health and some remedies to help me feel better:  ginger ale and toast.  I cried a little.  I was at a very low point, very sad about the state of my trip and feeling helpless about feeling better in time to enjoy the rest of the weekend.  The hand-written note and kind gesture meant the world to me.  I wasn’t able to eat the toast until eight hours later but it really helped.

A task-oriented, order taker would never have done this.  They would just stay in their box and take the next call and never give me a second thought. I love that Giselle was empowered to take this action.  I imagine it goes higher than the GM of this location. I imagine it may be a core value of the W Hotels and the level of service they strive to provide. But still, it was up to her to make the call to room service.  It was her choice to write me a handwritten note in purple ink on official W Hotel note cards.  I applaud both Giselle and the W!

A few blocks away the service level is much lower at Caffebene.  I doubt that management has any idea because they were invisible.  The front lines were left to three twenty-somethings made to dress in what have to be uncomfortable and annoying uniform jumpers and hats.  First let’s set the stage. 

Location:  Times Square. You are going to be busy every minute you are open.

Menu: Complicated.  With hundreds of variations of smoothies, coffees, teas, waffle toppings, yogurt and ice cream each order is going to be more time consuming than a pre-made menu.

Combine these two factors and you have the potential for a lot of business but you have to move people through and deliver what they ordered.  You have to be properly staffed with people who hustle, are team players and who have attention to detail. 

We were greeted by a fella with a scowl on his face that oozed the loathing he has for the uniform jumper, hat, co-workers and probably his life in general.  He moved like he was sleep walking.  He never made eye-contact. He was mean and rude to the two co-workers making all the custom orders.  He treated us like we were interrupting his day. He didn’t pay attention to what we ordered.  I ordered a tea that he told me without apologizing that they were out of.  This wasn’t a specially brewed tea it was a pre-packaged ginger twist tea they were advertising right in front of me on the screen in front of the cash register.  I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another box of that tea under the counter or in a back storage room but there was no way that guy was going to look.

I observed the ‘team’ while I waited for my order.  This guy was amazing in his apathy never making eye contact with anyone and never losing his scowl.  The other co-workers showed more engagement as they appeared to mildly hustle to make the smoothies and coffees but I never saw anyone who looked like a supervisor.

I checked out their gorgeous website. They have franchises in 15 countries.  Their menu is compelling and unique with specialty waffles and delicious-looking toppings. They had a lot of healthy options in cases up front.  They have a ‘gold-mine’ location in Times Square that I am sure comes with a healthy rent. But Wow! I could taste the apathy in my coffee from this kid.  I can't understand how the franchise owners could leave their million dollar asset in the hands of these kids!

Despite my crazy night in the bathroom the trip was awesome and I will be staying at W Hotels in my future travels. 

More Cruise Stories

My recent post on stories from my year working on a cruise ship has inspired a walk down memory lane.  It's hard to believe it's been almost 25 years since I worked on the ship. These memories are so vivid. Even though I was away from my friends and family for a year with no cell phone, email or text (this was 1990-91) it was one of the best years of my life! Some of my friends back-packed around Europe after college but I couldn't afford that with student loans. I became an indentured servant of sorts:  scrubbing toilets in exchange for a year of travel. I thought I'd share a few more stories of servitude.

  

The Peanut

Clipper had very high standards for service and the appearance of the ship. But when the president came onboard, everyone was on their best behavior and we knew we had to bring our A game. He was known for placing a lone peanut on the deck (floor) and timing how long it took a crew member to pick it up. It might be slightly behind a door or under a chair as if a passenger had dropped it but it was our job to clean it up as soon as possible.

After he cruised with you the first time, you had a new awareness of the deck and you never walked past a peanut or piece of trash ever again. Honestly, I still do this today: in the office, at the mall, in the park. 

There is significant value here in this peanut. Think about Disney. Thousands of people flow through their parks every day and you never see trash on the ground. You want your customers’ memories to be filled with magical experiences not about walking through trash.

The Mountain of Meat (possibly embellished details)

At the beginning of one of our cruises outside the US we had taken on more stores (supplies of food etc.) than we normally did because the itinerary was more remote than usual. Our freezer walk-in (freezer room the size of a typical office) was stacked to within a few feet of the ceiling. The chefs had to organize the layout and stacking logic so we would be able to find the items as the menu was scheduled.

One entertaining exercise I was tasked with as a galley assistant was to climb the mountains of boxes to navigate back into the walk-in to retrieve what would become the evening’s entrees. Imagine a game of 3D battleship. The steaks were at H4, the fish was at B2 and the chicken at C9. I climbed the boxes like I was at Upper Limits. 

Once I reached the top I had to lie horizontally across several towers of boxes and then army crawl to each location. I remember at times it felt like I only had twelve inches between my back and the ceiling. Once I reached the beef section I had to lift and re-arrange the boxes to get to the specific cut of meat the chef had requested and then slide them across the towers to the waiting sous chef. These boxes weighed 30-50 lbs each and I am lying across other boxes of meat with no leverage from my legs. We are feeding 138 passengers so I’m lifting multiple boxes of each. Definitely an exercise to strengthen the core they should teach at Cross Fit! And don’t forget this is the freezer!  I was wearing a white jumpsuit borrowed from an engineer working in a hot engine room, not a freezer!

This might sound scary and physically impossible but at the time it was kind of hilarious and just another day in my adventure at sea. (The photo is from one of those meat gathering excursions.) I learned I was agile, stronger than I had imagined, not claustrophobic and a dependable team player with a great sense of humor.

The Erupting Volcano of Coffee Grounds

Stewardesses rotated out of the dining room service into early-bird.  This was a continental breakfast set up in the lounge (where alcohol was served later in the day). A full, custom-order breakfast was served later in the morning in the dining room. When working early-bird you were up by 4:30 or 5 am to set up fruit, breads, and most importantly: coffee.

I was not a coffee drinker and not familiar with the process. I am sure someone ‘trained’ me on how to use the grinder and coffee maker but at 4:30 am my first time in early bird, I was clearly not at my best. I ran the coffee grinder and loaded the grounds into the coffee maker and pressed the brew button. A few minutes later Peter Brady’s volcano was erupting wet coffee grounds all over the table. It was a hot mess and I was panicking because I wasn't sure what happened. Luckily my friend who was the full-time lounge manager and bartender had showed up and explained to me that I forgot the coffee filter. Coffee filter, coffee filter, coffee filter. He helped me clean up. It was funny and horrible but the early-bird breakfast was saved. 

I learned the value of making an embarrassing mistake is the lesson learned so it’s never repeated. It was also very humbling.  I was one of the older stewardesses and the only one with an MBA. None of that matters when you are cleaning up an eruption of coffee grounds.

Sheet Change Day a Little Early

I entered the room of two of my favorite 90+ year old passengers to clean their room. Usually the passengers were off on an excursion or out on deck when we cleaned rooms so they surprised me when both of them were still there. Mr. Favorite said they needed Mrs. Favorite’s sheets changed today. “I’m sorry but our laxative worked a little more quickly than we expected.”

Believe it or not, this wasn't a big deal, just part of the gig when you clean rooms. They were my Favorites. They were so sweet and loving. They ate at my dinner table as well so we had really connected.

I learned that no matter how much money you have or what you accomplish in your professional career, when you get older, you might $hit the bed!

Funny things I got paid for

We've all paid our dues in various jobs over the years doing random tasks and projects. Even what seemed like a menial task at the time had lessons learned and transferrable skills. Here are few of mine:

Ben Franklin: Candy Aisle

In high school I worked at our local dime store Ben Franklin. A dream job since I had grown up coming to this store every Saturday.  When I wasn’t on the cash register (where the price of each item was manually keyed in by me, no scanner) they would ask us to clean and straighten the aisles of merchandise.  I was in heaven when they asked me to clean the candy aisle.  The task simply involved getting rid of empty boxes and trash, returning random items to their homes in other aisles and organizing all the candy stacks and rows.  The bonus to my $4.25/hour was to eat any damaged candy.  This is how I discovered Chick-O-Stick. They were always broken.

This taught me the importance of presenting your best to the customer so they can easily find what they need when shopping. It also taught me there is always something to do if the store is not busy. They were paying me to work and not just stand around.

St. Louis Cardinals:  Amighetti Sandwiches

In college I was hired to provide support to the receptionists and answer customer service (314-421-3060).  When call volume was low (losing seasons or the team out of town) I was asked to help out in all the departments:  administration, promotions, player development, accounting etc.  One specific recurring task was to take orders and payment for Amighetti’s sandwiches on the day our mail man made a special run to The Hill.  I literally walked from office to office taking the precise sandwich order from each interested employee.  Roast beef, heated with provolone cheese and au jus; Mom’s special but hold the pepporcini, etc. 

This taught me how important food is to employee morale in an office setting.  It also taught attention to detail and money management skills.

St. Louis Cardinals:  Confidential Report

When I first started at the Cardinals, Anheuser Busch was conducting individual, confidential employee interviews to evaluate employee engagement, satisfaction and suggestions for improvement.  I was called to Fred Kuhlmann’s office. He was the Chairman and President at the time (the equivalent of the current William Dewitt Jr. and III).  He had received the final, confidential report.  It was a four-inch stack of paper with three-hole punches sitting next to a giant, empty three-ring binder. He asked me to put the paper in the binder without looking at any of the confidential information.  He was sitting behind his desk and I was standing in front of him.  The task took just a few minutes. I had to un-focus my eyes enough to not read any of the pages but focus enough to get the paper into the binder. 

This taught me the importance of keeping confidential information confidential. 

Sea Ray:  Balloon Arches

Sea Ray was AVALA Marketing’s largest and most important client and I was the project manager. I had my MBA and roughly 15 years of experience in marketing. One of my favorite programs was a series of “Living Large” sales events held at the dealerships located on the water.  We handled the direct mail campaigns promoting the event along with providing support on-site.  I got to travel across the country working these events. I worked alongside the client setting up the registration tent, decorations etc.  We were on the dock by 6 a.m. setting up for 9 a.m. event that ran all day sometimes into the evening.

This is where I learned the valuable art of the balloon arch.  You could hire a balloon company to do this for you but the costs quickly add up the more events you run.  We bought our own helium tank and balloon supplies for our DIY version. It’s actually pretty basic.  You buy a special plastic tab that seals the balloons. We named them ‘dobbers’.  Tie two balloons together.  Twist the two sets of two together and slide them on a fishing line. Alternate colors as desired. Anchor the fishing line on a gate or fence.  As the balloons are added you can adjust the size of the arch. Bam! We just saved you hundreds of dollars!

This taught me the value of showing your client you are willing to roll up your sleeves and do what they need to make their event successful even though you have an MBA.  No ego. No complaining.  Just get the job done.

So if you aren't in your dream job yet or you feel under-employed, there are still important lessons to be learned and bullets to be added to your resume. 30 years later you'll think of that candy aisle and just smile. 

More Reasons Why Cruise Ship Employees Make Great Candidates

A few weeks ago there was a great article on Linked-in “Why Former Cruise Ship Employees Make the Best Employment Candidates” by Sean Sassoon with Princess Cruise lines.  As a former cruise ship employee I heartily agree! He talked in generalities about attributes like team work and crisis management. I wanted to provide a couple of entertaining stories that illustrate his points. But first, let me set the stage.

Background

I worked on the Yorktown Clipper with Clipper Cruise Lines for one year as a stewardess 1990-1991. This was more of a boutique cruise line not the massive ships you’re probably imagining. We had 138 passengers and 35 crew members. The ship had no casino, disco or swimming pool. There was one dining room and a lounge for cocktails. A naturalist was on board to give lectures on the nature, culture and environment. We docked in major cities like the other larger ships but we would also anchor off an uninhabited island so the passengers could snorkel or cruise a river in Panama or Venezuela to visit tribes of indigenous people.

Stewardesses rotated into various different positions for a week at a time. We cleaned the rooms, served the meals, did the laundry and worked in the galley. We helped to load the stores (all the food and supplies) and clean the galley, dining room and lounge. A typical day was 14-16 hours of physical labor. We received one day off every set of seven days.  I don’t remember any sick days.

Team work, crisis management, stress management, innovative: these are a few of the attributes mentioned in the article.  Here are a few of my stories.

48 Hours of Laundry Service

One girl at a time would rotate into laundry. Our responsibilities involved washing and ironing the table linens after each meal, the towels after rooms were cleaned, the sheets on sheet-change day and the bar rags used for cleaning.

Our crisis occurred when a lazy and inept girl was assigned to the laundry and she fell so far behind there were no towels for the rooms and no breakfast linens for the next day. This was discovered one evening after dinner service. My boss assigned me and another girl (Connie) to 24-hour laundry for two days. We were each on 4-6 hour shifts. We’d work our shift and wake the other up to take the next shift until we caught up.Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Two days.

Connie and I were hard workers but also experts at the project management of the laundry service. The key was to keep all three machines working at the same time (iron, washer and dryer) and to pack every nook and cranny of the washer with as much as possible. Most girls would only fit 5-6 bags of laundry into the washer. If you took a few extra minutes, you could find the empty corners and fit another 2-3 bags! This was a huge time saver.

I was such a skilled project manager of the laundry that I was able to finish the morning work creating a large enough break in the afternoon to take a passenger excursion on a helicopter landing on a glacier two different times.  Priceless!

And the wall came crashing down.

Two girls plus one deckhand would work in the galley to assist the chefs with some basic food preparation but our primary job was to wash all dishes. This included glass, dinner and silverware from passengers and crew as well as all pots, pans and utensils used to prepare the meals. Three of us worked the dish washing line. The first person emptied the bus tubs, the second person loaded the racks and the third person removed the clean dishes from the racks. We all helped to run the dishes back to where they were stored all over the galley. At the wall where the third person worked were shelves that held cereal bowls, side plates and casserole dishes.

Our crisis occurred one night when we were in high seas. The ship was being tossed around and half the passengers were sick in their rooms. We were getting ready for dinner service. I was in the second position so the wall of china was at the end of the line to my left.  The ship listed so far to the right it felt like we might tip over.  I remember this moment like it was in slow motion.   As the ship listed we started moving to the right but looking to the left at the shelves…cereal bowls… crash…casserole dishes…crash…side plates…crash! The floor of our entire line was covered with broken dishes.

A few of the deckhands immediately ran and found some remnant carpet squares for us to stand on over the breakage. They started sweeping up while someone else ran to the stores to get more side plates from storage.  We were serving a hot appetizer so we needed to run the plates through the dish washer so the hot food was served on a hot plate.

It was hilarious!  No one complained at all. We just kept working and cleaning up and the passengers had no idea.

This was one of the most memorable years of my life.  Physically the hardest work I’ve ever done in exchange for travel.  In one year I traveled to more places than most people will in their life time: Alaska, Victoria, Vancouver, San Juan Islands, many towns in Washington and Oregon, San Francisco, Napa, San Diego, Mexico (Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo San Lucas, Ixtapa Zihuatanejo, uncharted islands), Costa Rica, Panama, Isla Margarita, Curacao, Bonaire, Trinidad, Tobago, Venezuela up the Orinoco River. Serve from the left with the left hand, clear from the right with the right hand, and the table should be ‘crumbed’ (crumbs delicately scraped off the table) before dessert arrives. I learned about gourmet food and wine, which silverware goes with each course and I have a full library of napkin folds!

Cruise ship employees have many desirable skills and even more crazy stories!

Note: the picture was taken off the coast of one of those uninhabited Mexican islands. I am wearing the uniform from serving breakfast and lunch.

How to blow your interview: 6 quick tips

Building on my previous post of how not to get an interview, if you are unsuccessful and get called in to meet live humans I thought I would share a few helpful tips on how to make sure you do not get a second interview or hired for that matter!  In general the theme is to not prepare. At all.

Do not review your resume. 

It’s much more interesting when I ask you a question about a previous accomplishment and you can’t remember the details.  This is an easy way to start blowing the interview when you can’t explain the bullets on your own resume.  Waste my time while you look at the ceiling trying to remember your responsibilities from a few years ago.  I start to doubt what you wrote is the truth and look for ways to end the interview as quickly as possible.

Do not research the company.

I once had a position open for an Internet marketer and one of the key responsibilities in the job posting was to lead our web strategy and a complete redesign of our web site.  I asked the candidate if she had reviewed our site and what suggestions she might have for short-term improvements.  She told me she did not look at our site and the interview ended a few minutes later. She blew it so easily!

Another real-life example is when I worked for a communications (cable) company and a candidate told us she hated cable.  I assume she did not research the company or what our main products were and she blew that interview in the opening chit chat! Seriously!

Do not take notes

This is especially true if I am explaining anything about our process or who key players are.  The interview could be the beginning of your training and make your first days easier but if you don’t write anything down you can blow the interview and not have to worry about that.  When I see you not taking notes it's clear that you don’t care and lack initiative. 

Do not ask questions

You are considering making a life-changing decision to leave your current job and work with me and my team. Of course you won’t have any questions like what’s my leadership style, how I define success for this position or how you will be evaluated.  Now this is not always a deal-breaker but it helps me see how much initiative you lack or how little information you gather when making decisions. 

Why would you want to know why the position is open? Or what the top priorities are? Or why I enjoy working here?  If you really don’t care, then don’t ask.  People who don’t care blow interviews every day.

Do not ask for the job

This is related to not asking questions.  Don’t end the interview by asking me if I see any gaps in your experience or reasons I may hesitate to hire you. This question is a great segue to ask for the job.  Definitely do not ask for the job.  Leave me unsure of your interest. Your apathy and indifference will make it easier for me to assume you’re not interested. Let another candidate who displays not only interest but enthusiasm for the job get the offer.

Do not write thank you notes

It’s so much easier to not write thank you notes when you have no notes from all of the people you met.   Why would we want to hire someone who has manners and respect? You could use the thank you notes to build relationships with your future co-workers and reiterate reasons why you are qualified but these are tips to blow the interview not rock!  This is not necessarily a deal breaker but it’s a great strategy to blow the interview days later!  This is not a big deal for most people.  It’s one of my pet peeves. 

These are all examples from real candidates.  Each time I go through the hiring process I am shocked at the poor performance of the candidates.  Adults, not just kids, whose families rely on the income from a job I have to fill. I imagine this is why you hear stories of people being laid off for 6-12 months.  It’s a shame.  You may really be the best candidate for the job but it’s very easy to blow the interview.  Just follow these easy tips.

How Not to Get an Interview: 5 Easy Tips

Over 25 years in my professional career I have gone through hundreds of resumes from eager applicants for various positions including administrative assistants, telemarketers, marketing management, creative and web developers.  We just completed the hiring process for a new person and it brought to light a variety of fun tips I wanted to share to help you not get the interview.

Send a blank email

Don’t bother to write an email if you have attached your cover letter.  That shows me how lazy you are and sends you straight to the NO pile.

Don’t put your personal information in the subject line

…Especially when you are responding to an ad from an online posting service like Monster or Craig’s List. Imagine 100 people responding to the same ad and everyone just clicks to submit the same email template.  My in-box now has 100 new emails all with the same subject line. (See picture above).  So if you don’t add your name into the subject line, it makes it really easy to accidentally skip or lose your emailed application.

Don’t provide all of your contact information

Make me work for it.  I prefer to reach out by phone but if you only give me your email, make sure you don’t check it very often so I have forgotten about you in a few weeks.  If you have an online portfolio or website, do not put that on your resume or cover letter.  Put it in the email so if I only print your resume, I don’t have it.  Then I have to go through 100 emails all with the same subject line and see if I can find it.

Don’t proof your resume or letter

…Especially if you are applying for a writing or designing position.  Typos, misspellings, grammar and punctuation mistakes, misaligned bullets and paragraphs are all circled with a red pen as I scan your letter and resume.  The more red, the quicker you jump to the NO pile.

Keep your file names generic:  “resume” and “cover letter”

This concept is similar to the idea of the generic email subject line.  Imagine hundreds of Word and PDF documents all with the same generic name. It makes it easy for me to lose and you never even make it to the NO pile!.

In a world when you see people graduating from college with student loans the size of a mortgage, unemployment rates of recent college graduates in the 8-10% range and watching 15-20% of those graduates ending up ‘under-employed’ I can see why.  Follow these five tips and you can help all of these numbers increase -- the lazier the better.

Come on people! Seriously?!  I am horrified! All of these examples are real and avoidable.  If your college professors don't tell you how, Google will give you tips on anything you can think of for free:  search ‘cover letter’ or ‘job search tips.’ Duh! You may have grown up where everyone gets a trophy for playing but in the real world only one person gets the job.