Friday, July 15, I attended a funeral, a wedding and a baby shower. I experienced a full range of emotions and a deeper level of introspection…much more than a typical Friday.
Baby Shower
The morning started with a ‘food day’ celebrating the pending arrival of baby Levi. Everything from cheesey-bacon-tator tots, a breakfast casserole, monkey bread, the token healthy fruit tray and of course, cupcakes with the plastic safety pin topper. I had a really interesting conversation with Amy, the expectant mother, about what a true miracle it is that a woman’s body can conceive and grow a baby to term…everything from eye lashes to fingernails and the ability to laugh and cry. While I will never have this life experience, I can certainly appreciate the magnitude.
It makes me think…a newborn baby represents the possibilities that life offers. Maybe little Levi will be the next president of the United States or beat Michael Phelps’ Olympic gold medal record in swimming or invent the next generation’s iPod or simply be a good man who loves his family, is happy and enjoys life to the fullest.
Babies start with a clean slate. Babies aren’t born with racism or homophobia. They don’t know how to bully or gossip. Their laughter is pure joy. They are more curious about the cardboard box than the expensive designer toy. As they grow older their imagination has the ability to turn a blanket into a secret castle. When you ask them what they want to be when they grow up they say “a baseball player, a fireman AND a doctor”…no limits, everything is possible.
Funeral
Mid-morning I left the office to attend my first Jewish funeral service. The funeral was for my friend Sandy’s father who had passed away at the age of 95. I was raised Catholic so I’m most familiar with a full funeral mass. (I know this is dorky but I Googled “jewish funeral service” to see what to expect.) The temple was a simple room compared to many Catholic Churches with their mosaics, stained glass windows and statues. But the acoustics were perfect to hear Rabbi Amy Feder officiate the service.
The minimal service had a comforting flow of poignant readings, quotes, commentary and songs. The Rabbi’s voice was simply beautiful unaccompanied by an organ or piano as I’m used to. The verses she sang had this ancient rhythm that drew me into their rituals and traditions. And when the Rabbi spoke, she displayed emotion and passion unlike Catholic priests and lectors who tend to read in a robotic monotone. As sad as funerals can be, I appreciate the gift it is to share this experience with a close friend.
Sandy’s brother spoke and the rabbi read letters from Sandy and her sister to their father. It’s inspiring to hear the love and admiration for a man who deeply touched many lives. Sometimes people discount your grief of someone who dies at an advanced age…”oh he lived a long life” or “it was time.” I think this makes the grief more profound because you have more years of memories and experiences with the person who is now gone.
It makes me think…have I lived my life creating the memories and experiences that I will be satisfied with at the end? Have I taken advantage of all those possibilities that lie before me when I was born?
Wedding
I hurriedly left the office to commute through rush-hour traffic to get to the 5:30 wedding ceremony of my cousin Jared. I think weddings are the ultimate act of optimism. More marriages end in divorces than last ‘till death do us part’…so anyone who is willing to stand up in front of their closest friends and families and make this commitment knowing the odds are against them has to be filled with optimism that their relationship is different.
It makes me think...when you’re sitting in church you can’t help but reflect on your own life, your own hopes and your own relationships. Watching two people who are truly in love is inspiring. I like that feeling of optimism.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the funeral service they brought the casket over to the family for a final moment before the procession out of the temple. My heart broke as Sandy’s mom sobbed, calling out to her husband with such pain her voice. Her grief was palpable in the room. They had been together 68 years, what a gift. Life and all of its experiences, good and bad, is a gift. And it’s days like this that remind you to appreciate it.
and PS: wow what a crazy thought filled Friday!
