How Not to Get an Interview: 5 Easy Tips

Over 25 years in my professional career I have gone through hundreds of resumes from eager applicants for various positions including administrative assistants, telemarketers, marketing management, creative and web developers.  We just completed the hiring process for a new person and it brought to light a variety of fun tips I wanted to share to help you not get the interview.

Send a blank email

Don’t bother to write an email if you have attached your cover letter.  That shows me how lazy you are and sends you straight to the NO pile.

Don’t put your personal information in the subject line

…Especially when you are responding to an ad from an online posting service like Monster or Craig’s List. Imagine 100 people responding to the same ad and everyone just clicks to submit the same email template.  My in-box now has 100 new emails all with the same subject line. (See picture above).  So if you don’t add your name into the subject line, it makes it really easy to accidentally skip or lose your emailed application.

Don’t provide all of your contact information

Make me work for it.  I prefer to reach out by phone but if you only give me your email, make sure you don’t check it very often so I have forgotten about you in a few weeks.  If you have an online portfolio or website, do not put that on your resume or cover letter.  Put it in the email so if I only print your resume, I don’t have it.  Then I have to go through 100 emails all with the same subject line and see if I can find it.

Don’t proof your resume or letter

…Especially if you are applying for a writing or designing position.  Typos, misspellings, grammar and punctuation mistakes, misaligned bullets and paragraphs are all circled with a red pen as I scan your letter and resume.  The more red, the quicker you jump to the NO pile.

Keep your file names generic:  “resume” and “cover letter”

This concept is similar to the idea of the generic email subject line.  Imagine hundreds of Word and PDF documents all with the same generic name. It makes it easy for me to lose and you never even make it to the NO pile!.

In a world when you see people graduating from college with student loans the size of a mortgage, unemployment rates of recent college graduates in the 8-10% range and watching 15-20% of those graduates ending up ‘under-employed’ I can see why.  Follow these five tips and you can help all of these numbers increase -- the lazier the better.

Come on people! Seriously?!  I am horrified! All of these examples are real and avoidable.  If your college professors don't tell you how, Google will give you tips on anything you can think of for free:  search ‘cover letter’ or ‘job search tips.’ Duh! You may have grown up where everyone gets a trophy for playing but in the real world only one person gets the job.

Top Cold Calling Personas

Lately I have been greatly entertained by the daily voice-mail messages I receive from the cold-callers of the world currently out there dialing for dollars:  

Eminem:  Ridiculously fast talker like some of the most popular rappers.  Or remember those old FedEx commercials?  That guy.

Mumbles: Remember Dustin Hoffman in Dick Tracy? Best when phone is smooshed against your face for further distortion.

Colonel Nathan Jessup:   Read your forceful monologue into my voice-mail with all the reasons why I need you on my wall. Or at least whatever you are selling.

Jeff Spicoli:  Laid back tone like he’s talking to his bro about his favorite pizza. I have to think twice to figure out if we really do know each other.

Patty Simcox:  Over –the-top, up-beat and excited. I imagine you are wearing red, white and blue and singing the “Up with People” theme song.   Funny…I may actually call you back.

My heart goes out to all of these people whose livelihoods rely on the successful outcome of these failed cold-call attempts. PEOPLE! Call yourself and leave yourself a sample call. Would you call yourself back?

Here are a few tips:

I typically open my voice-mail once a day at the most because they are 90% cold-calls.  I grab a pen and my notebook with full intention of taking notes to return calls. 

I get so many cold-call messages that I will only give you a few seconds at the beginning before I just hit 3-3-7 to delete.  If you are speaking clearly, I can understand your name, number and company and if your story peaks my interest, I write it down. That’s your first step to getting a call back. 

   

You improve your odds if you mailed me something cool, interesting and memorable prior to calling. Then when your voice-mail references your memorable mailer, continuing the story of why you are better and different, I may return your call simply because I admire good marketing. 

I am busy. I have a full-time job with many active projects that don’t require you or the thing you are selling. We outsource very little and operate with an in-house agency model. On the other hand, I love marketing. I want to stay up-to-date on new technology, strategies and approaches. Depending on your sales cycle, a meeting at the right time can allow me to pitch management and budget for something new. I enjoy networking. I am a good target but you have to get my attention, peak my curiosity and not annoy me.